Sample Chapters

1.

A Shift In Perspective

“Mamma.” “Mommy.” “Mom.” “Mother.” “Madre.” “Ma!” “Bruh!” 

From the moment the strip turns pink, our identifiers begin to change right alongside our waistline. Gone are the days of “Miss” from the waiter at your favorite upscale coffee shop. Enter the era when friends welcome you to the booth with a singsong “hey, Mamma”, and high chairs appear as if telepathically summoned via your diaper bag. Even your first name becomes less frequent as the PTA introduces you as “little so and so’s mom”. “Mama Bear” tumblers become a sought after Christmas gift, and “Proud parent of an honor student” bumper stickers adorn the exterior of the minivan. For some this is the welcomed result of a long prayed for journey, while to others it may be yet another item added to the laundry list of unexpected changes brought on by a shocking surprise. Whatever the case, the truth is that no matter the road that led you here, life will indeed never be the same, and neither will you. The thought of being someone’s mom is overwhelming and unnerving. The responsibility, the change, the joy, the sorrow, the fear, the love, all piled together into some old fashioned railway cart that’s rapidly racing into the black hole entrance of a mine with a sign above labeled, “Welcome to the Unknown”. That rollercoaster rush of adrenaline playing hopscotch over the line between complete exhilaration and total lack of control leaves you dizzy and slightly nauseous… or maybe that’s the morning sickness talking. 

I will never forget the day that five years of heartache, trials, questions, prayers, and diagnosis of impossible all turned to a shout of joy as I found out we were expecting our first child. God had graciously and miraculously turned the doctors ‘no’ into a resounding ‘YES’, and we were overwhelmed with thankfulness. For me that feeling was followed closely by the thoughts of “oh my goodness, how do I do this?” (Not uncommon.) Mingled with the gratitude and praise was just the tiniest twinge of anxiety. As most mothers can attest, this tiny twinge grows about as fast as your developing fetus. If we’re honest, there are usually two main responses to this; either we bury it under that new super-soft, pastel colored baby blanket of pride, assuming we will be the exception to every rule and stereotype out there – or we give those doubts, questions, and anxieties a prime spot on our mantles and allow it VIP access into every estrogen-filled thought area of our life. Rarely do we choose the more appropriate place … at the feet of the God who has lovingly and purposefully called you to this new season of life. 

That appropriate place gets harder to locate in a world and at a time where motherhood is not only considered an undesired choice, but is scoffed at by some, and downright vilified by others. Our surrounding culture depicts motherhood as a thankless drudge of a job that takes a woman away from anything remotely resembling productivity; stamping out creative expression or any ambition towards something this society might deem “worthy”. Unfortunately, I see more and more Christian women losing biblical perspective and adopting this kind of outlook. It is fighting for our attention across our social media feeds and discussed at length in our small groups, often disguised as sharing for support. It’s portrayed in every movie, tv show, clip and reel, and we are allowing it to take up residence in our own thoughts and lives instead of calling it out for what it is- sin. Sin takes truth and twists, distorts, and defiles it. Sin takes something that is called, ordained, and blessed of God the Father and denounces it. Sin looks at motherhood through the lens of a fallen world instead of holding it up to the light of God’s standard of truth. And the reality is that the reason this way of viewing and considering motherhood is so prevalent in our Christian social circles is simply because we let it be. We put tag-lines of a defeated nature in pretty frames and sell them at the local craft store. We post them as “self-affirming” entries on our Facebook walls and relish the flood of accolades and solidarity comments that support our egos and feed the disenchantment. 

Motherhood is not a job or career goal for you to level-up in. Motherhood is not a drudge or drain on your independence. Motherhood is a ministry. This is not some Pinterest trad wife trend version of motherhood. There is no assignment of moral value to either breast milk or baby formula. There is no demonization aimed at whether you are vaccinated or unvaccinated. There is no one-size-fits-all to motherhood. There is, however a singular standard to which we all should be striving for and living according too. Every decision we make, every thought we entertain, every word, expression, or deed, should be in an attempt to honor and live according to that standard; and while the Bible may not mention the pitfalls of processed sugars and screen time by name, it certainly has a LOT to say about raising our children in the faith, pursuing a relationship with the Lord, and living a life that brings glory and honor to Him. 

As moms, our homes are our first areas of ministry. We raise our children in the faith starting in the home! At most, our kids might spend roughly 8 hours of their weekly time at church. That’s 5% of their week in a decidedly Christian environment dedicated to teaching, worship, and fellowship. This is not new information, and yet for too long we have left the spiritual responsibility of raising of our kids in the faith up to the “church” expecting that 5% to be enough. If your children attend a public school then include in those numbers at least 35 hours a week in a decidedly non-Christian environment, one that actively opposes Christian values and Biblical truth. If left to that, the odds are overwhelmingly against our children having a relationship with Christ and growing in the love and knowledge of Him. Again, none of this is shocking and has been preached before. But what we as mothers can miss is the thinking that “ministry” is only what happens at church, in bible study, or sitting around a piano teaching them worship songs. Ministry in motherhood is so much more. St. Francis of Assisi is credited with the saying; “Preach the gospel, and when necessary we use words.” We’ve heard this as a way to emphasize living out our faith. (Someone once said, living our faith out loud.) As mothers, we preach with every word, every touch, every work of our hand, every meditation of our heart, every meal cooked, every band aid applied, every car ride to soccer, every fever soothed. Our hours of operation are 24/7 with no vacation days and no clocking out early. Our churches have no property lines of demarcation and our budgets include not only all that we have, but all that we are. What an incredible and overwhelming responsibility! 

In Genesis 2, we see the creation of Adam and Eve, and in verse 24 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” While this indeed speaks to the covenant of marriage, we also get a glimpse into God’s extended plan for humanity. Adam and Eve had no Earthly father or mother, they were created into adulthood. In this verse we understand that families were in the heart of God from the very beginning. The perpetuation of human existence was built into our bodies from the start, and the design for motherhood was always part of God’s plan.  This was not a result of the fall, but a careful and intentional act of God in creation. The result of the sin in the garden to women was struggle placed on the two most significant areas of our life; our relationships to our husband and to our children. It’s no wonder that so many of the battles we fight with the enemy over have to do with our families. It’s also no wonder that the devil, who was present that day in the garden when the judgment for sin was delivered, has specifically attacked families, marriages, babies, knowing the kind of weapon they can be against him. It makes you wonder if he somehow always suspected that our ultimate means for salvation and restoration to God would in fact come in the form of a baby, thru the vessel of an obedient and faithful woman. 

Part of shifting our perspective on motherhood is not just in how we view the role itself, but in how we view our children. What are these little DNA bandits all about? It used to be that society frowned upon a woman’s inability to have children, now the pendulum has swung and it seems to be lauded as some sort of accomplishment. Young females tragically brag not simply about having had an abortion, but about how many they’ve had, like some twisted take on a batting average. While this is certainly still denounced in religious circles, the way I hear women of faith speak about their children and the responsibilities of motherhood tells me that we are NOT part of the solution. Our words carry weight. If a sponge is placed in a dish of water, when squeezed it will not release orange juice. In short- what you put in is what you get out. What we are reading, what we are seeing, what we are mentally investing in, what we are allowing access into our hearts and minds, AND what we are not calling out as false, is what will be absorbed and retained, and therefore what will come out under pressure. 

Proverbs 18:20,21 “From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” 

If life and death are in the power of the tongue, we are murdering motherhood with shocking abandon and ease, and the fruit of this is evident in our society. It begs the question, what lies are we as women of God absorbing about this roll and about our offspring?

Children aren’t given to us to use as props for our online brands or accessories in our social circles. They are not speed bumps in your forward corporate progress or inconvenient interruptions in your life plan. Neither are children born to be idolized; they are not your existential do-over, supplied simply for you to find your identity in or live vicariously through. 

Children are a blessing.

Children are image bearers of God.

Children are further proof of God’s sovereignty.

Children are arrows. 

Children are a miraculous relationship God uses as a tool to sanctify us.

If we are going to shift our perspective on motherhood away from how the world sees it and what the world says about it, if we are going to see it and treat it like the ministry it is, then let’s start with this. Let’s start with the kids……….

 

2.

Fact or Feeling

       A good portion of this book I have written from the outdoor patio of my favorite coffee shop. You know the kind of place; where the interior walls are adorned with work from local artists, and the menu lists a plethora of deliciously caffeinated beverages and overpriced avocado toast. The patio is lined with trees, twinkle lights, and has just enough of a city view to not be in complete isolation. It’s a great place for a mom to meet up with her girlfriend for a cup of fancy coffee and yet still feel comfortable bringing her kid, without stressing too much over how they might behave in public. A good reset spot to at least feel like you’ve got a handle on things. Because we can all attest to the fact that we don’t always feel like we do. We don’t always feel good about being a mom. How we feel when we are pregnant changes with every trimester and symptom. How we feel about our children might change right alongside their mood swings. How we feel about motherhood is just as changeable as our child’s attention span as we try to carry on a conversation over our overpriced coffee. Feelings are temporary and fickle. The problem with feelings is not that we have them, but in the power we give to them.

Quite often I come across women who, because of a feeling or an emotion they are currently experiencing, believe it to be the only thing capable of occupying space in their hearts and minds. Thinking of motherhood from a Christian woman’s perspective doesn’t mean we ignore those feelings. It does mean that we put them in their proper place. Emotions do in fact have a place in our lives. They are embedded in us for a reason and therefore should not be ignored or undervalued. However, neither should they be glorified or allowed to steer the ship or rule the roost. Emotions can lead us to empathy and good works. They should be acknowledged, examined, and then put in their proper place. Submitting them to the truth of God’s word is the proper place. The confusion happens when we put feelings over truth. It gives more weight to our emotions and what we are feeling than it does to where we are rooted and grounded, which is always in God’s word. We need to be able to use our emotions IN their proper place. 

In addition, we tend to find it hard to believe that duplicitous emotions can occupy the same space; that having more than one feeling about something is impossible. Having opposing emotions about an issue does not nullify, negate, or invalidate anything you might be feeling. Maybe you are rejoicing with a friend over their recent pregnancy announcement while mourning your own infertility journey. Maybe you are grieving the loss of a spouse and wondering if it is possible to find joy in your children simultaneously. Maybe you are dealing with a difficult situation with your child and wondering if your anger means you don’t love them the way you should. I can remember a time after my daughter was born when I struggled with this. All of my friends, family, doctors, and nurses liked to point out how I should only be rejoicing the fact that I had a healthy baby girl brought into my arms, but no one would validate the trauma and emotional distress I had experienced in the emergency situation and c-section that brought her safely there. I was so grateful to have her safe and healthy, but there was a very real loss that wasn’t being allowed to have any place on my emotional plate; one that desperately needed to be acknowledged, validated, and then put in it’s proper place to heal. Humans are wonderfully designed and beautifully complex creations, consisting of body, mind, and spirit. We are capable of a multitude of emotions at the same time, and still have the mental and spiritual strength (through the help of the Holy Spirit) to subdue them, allowing truth to lead and guide us through this physical life… and sometimes, we just need somebody to point that out to us. Let me give you permission to feel more than one thing. After all, they’re just feelings. So let’s talk about some facts over feelings when it comes to our children. (Because they sure are capable of instigating some big feelings in us.)

Children are a blessing.

Psalm 127:3 – “Children are a heritage of the lord, offspring a reward from him.” There are no qualifiers to this scripture. It dos not say, “children are a reward, when born in a Godly and loving home with two madly in love adults who have prayed for children”. It does not say, “children are a heritage, as long as they don’t make sinful mistakes and cause friction in the family.” Read it like this… children ARE… a heritage, a reward. The following verses go on to say “Blessed is the man who’s quiver is full of them.” (More on that later.) Each child born is intricately woven together in the womb, given with the very stamp of God’s image emblazoned on them, brought forth with a design and purpose for God’s Kingdom, and entrusted to us to raise and encourage them to fulfill that purpose. The value that God places on children is unmatched. Of all the ways God could have chosen to express His love for us, of all the things He could have given when all of creation was in need of divine intervention, God gave the greatest gift He could possibly give… His own son. Your children are a reminder of how much He loves you, a reflection of what He gave to all of humanity, and a symbol of what He can bring to all who come to Him. New life. 

Proverbs 17:6- Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children. 

Children are a gift- a blessing from the Lord. 

Children are image bearers. 

Genesis 1: 26-27, “ Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he crated them; male and female he created them.”

Part of the way we see the blessing of children is rooted in the foundational truth that we should respect all human life owing to the fact that every single person is created in the image of God. Male and female, we are image bearers of our Heavenly Father, sealed with His stamp of approval. In His infinite creativity, He forms and fashions us with unique perfection and intentionality. 

The Psalmist writes in Psalm 139… “For you created me in my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearful and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” 

When you consider the intricacies of how a human life comes to be, it’s development in the womb, all the interwoven facets of a child’s skeletal frame, nervous system, muscular design, the organs, the blood vessels, the neurological development, not to mention the inclusion of personality, spirit, preference… how could you ever even consider describing such an unimaginable miracle as an ‘accident’?! There are no accidents in creation. When God decided to create man and woman, He didn’t just speak the words, He got his hands dirty. His very finger prints are on each and every one of us. We truly are “fearfully and wonderfully made”. 

We also should have the proper amount of humility to remember that while this beautiful miracle is happening/ has happened to you, you actually have very little to do with it. As women we don’t wake up with our alarm set in the baby app reminding us to get going on forming that appendix. We don’t think to ourselves, “gee, I guess I need to work on creating my baby’s thigh bone or colon today.” And after they are born and out functioning in this world, we are not in charge of scheduling the dates for growths spurts or the timing of their first lost tooth.

Why is it important to note this? I find a lot of the time we get singleminded and fixated on the “me” of it all. It’s my body, my baby, and we tend to forget that there is a respect that should be given to the fact that God is the one doing the creating. He has designed this person for a specific reason and purpose in His world and in His plan. I am a big beach lover. I love going out by myself and one of the reasons is because it helps me clear my head. I go and just listen to the waves, take some deep breathes of that salty air, quiet my heart and my mind for a short while. I can go out there and look at all the grains of sand along the beach, look out past the waves to the vastness of the ocean and it makes me feel… small. I like that. I tend to get too big in my mind with all the “me-ness” of life. When I think of this very large world with all the variety of creations in it, it helps me gain perspective. It’s important to remember motherhood is… to put it plain and simple, bigger than you. 

Children are further proof of God’s sovereignty.

If it’s NOT all about me, then who is it all about? If children are a gift, and if they are in fact deliberately, intentionally, and wonderfully made, the logical track backwards points to 1. A giver of the gift and, further back 2. A creator of this gift. The logical track forwards then points to purpose. A purpose that God knows and we have yet to discover. 

“For from him and through him and for him are all things.” Romans 11:36

“In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,” Eph. 1:11

“Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him.” Psalm 115:3

“In him we live and move and have our being” Acts 17:28

“The Lord does whatever pleases him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths” Psalm 135:6

“The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all” Psalm 103:19

Over and over we see scripture reminding us of this fact- God is sovereign. He rules, reigns, and has power and dominion over all. From the elaborate vastness of the cosmos to the tiniest microscopic cells, He exercises his authority. He has a plan beyond our comprehension. And because we trust in Him, we trust his word, and because we trust His word, we can be assured that the plan is good!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 

Our children are living, breathing, walking, talking, constant reminders of the furthering of God’s plan in this world. 

Children are arrows

In addition to children being a blessing, being created in the image of God and being a testament to the sovereignty of God, we need to remember that children are created FOR God. Psalms 127:4 says, “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.” Children, like arrows, serve a purpose in the kingdom of God and in His great plan. Just like you or me, our children have a call on their life, and it’s a call for righteousness. As Christian mothers, we remember that we are on the very front lines of a spiritual battle, and part of our job in this war is to raise ‘arrows’. Arrows are shaped, formed, and sharpened. Arrows are pointed in a specific direction. Arrows are propelled towards a target. We teach, train, shape, form, and sharpen our children with the word of God. We point our children to a life that is lived in relationship with Christ, and directed at following His will and His way. We propel our children out into a dark and sinful world with the intent that they will cause as much damage to the enemy as possible. One of my dad’s favorite quotes he uses during every baby dedication is, “the greatest impact you make in the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise.” Never underestimate the mighty and massive responsibility you have to the Kingdom of God. Motherhood puts you in charge of basic training. So it’s time to gear up, there’s a war going on!

Children are a means to sanctify us

Raising a child is a calling. Our children need to see discipleship lived out in the every day. They need to see relationship, not religion. A life of authentically walking with Christ: the hands and feet of it, the beauty, the trials, the perseverance, the healing, the repentance and forgiveness lived out. That is how we train them. How often do you hear someone bemoan the fact that after children they “just don’t recognize themselves anymore”, or “aren’t the woman they used to be”? Our flesh so gravely desires to hold on to ‘us’, and motherhood being the clear affront to anything and everything selfish or self-centered is labeled the problem becoming the convenient scapegoat in our quest for personal fulfillment. We entertain this outlook because parenting confronts us with our own humanity, our own sinful nature. It reveals our shortcomings, our flaws, our selfishness; the ways in which we fail are magnified, and our own ungodly proclivities we can see reflected in the images of our genetic mini-me’s. It’s uncomfortable to say the least. Yet how kind of God to use such a beautifully loving way, as in the relationship between a mother and her child, as a means to transform our lives. Sanctification- the process of being set apart for service unto God – says I am not the same person I was. I don’t do the things I used to do. I don’t indulge my sinful nature like I did before. Walking that out with your children learning from you is incredibly humbling. Sins twisting of sacrifice says to survive for them. The scriptural call is to lay down our lives for them. 

     Have you ever been walking in the aisle of your favorite store and on the shelf in the home-goods section seen that sparkly new coffee mug with the phrase “you are enough” plastered in glittery script across the side? This seems to be a favorite mom-affirmation for today. I’m afraid I have some cold water to splash on the glowing embers of your emotional response… this is a lie. You are most definitely NOT enough. Motherhood flies in the face of this every single day. You are not strong enough, smart enough, good enough, wise enough, holy enough, or poses enough ability in and of yourself to successfully raise children according to God’s will and God’s way. Now how’s that for a harsh dose of realism. The beyond incredible news to come alongside of that is this- you aren’t meant to be enough. God’s way is a way of surrender to the one who is always more than enough. His ability is what carries us through. The apostle Paul reminds us that God says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9) We are weak; He is strong. We are incapable of teaching and training our children; He provides the words of life and direction. How wonderfully reassuring it is that God has actually ordained you to do this. Your Heavenly Father specifically created every facet of your physical being with procreation in mind. From the very organs you have possessed since before your own birth all the way to the incredible life-sustaining ability to feed your child from your own body; everything about a woman’s design points to the affirmation that you were MADE to do this. Talk about encouraging! 

The trap that we can fall into is the temptation to think we have to do it all on our own. Our tendency to try to do all, be all, provide all is natural when you consider how we are, in fact, created to do this. We sacrifice our bodies entirely during the process of pregnancy, birth, and early nurture. We give everything to bring these little ones into the world. The instinctual urges to feed, comfort, calm, hold, nurture, and love, are so intense and aggressive, it’s mind blowing. As they grow, we spend so much time problem solving and trying to make the world better for them all the time. We kiss the boo boo’s and run interference with siblings and friends. We dig deep into trying to figure out the root of emotional issues. We attempt to guard their hearts, minds, and bodies, as if by surrounding them in some kind of impenetrable bubble, we can keep all the woes of the world at bay. We are the worlds biggest problem solvers at all times every day. Of course, it is difficult to let go of control and surrender them to the Lord. Of course, it’s difficult to admit we aren’t capable and push them towards reliance on Him. Of course, it’s hard to realize we just aren’t enough. But when we ourselves can really lean into our dependency on Him, when we can “boast in our weaknesses” (vs. 10), then we can begin to not only release our children to His care but also to teach them their own dependency. We can start them on their own journey of recognizing their need for a savior. They need God just like we do. They need Him to be enough for their own lives. All of our lives should be spent not in teaching them of their need for us, but of their need for Him. We point to Him by turning to Him for ourselves. In short, motherhood should point you to your own need for a Savior.

 

3.

I Need Thee

How do you describe sleep deprivation to someone who isn’t a mom? There is only one adjective that comes to mind when you’re in the thick of it – Desperate. It’s a strong word. It’s not just desperate for anything, but desperate for the one thing you’re lacking, the one thing your body is starving for… sleep. When my son Henry was born, being the second born I thought I knew what to expect as far as baby sleeping habits go. Let’s just say, he has always liked to keep me on my toes. My sweet, smiley, joy-boy, did not sleep through the night until he was over three years old. Just about the time we’d think we were on the right track, he would completely derail it all, and I can’t tell you how many times it felt like I would absolutely lose my mind. I didn’t need another coffee. I didn’t need to exercise to raise my endorphins. I didn’t need to see the doctor. I didn’t need to eat better, have more “self-care” time, have more nights out, or engage in some kind of retail therapy. I needed sleep. Uninterrupted sleep. Any other option was like trying to power my entire house using a single AAA battery. 

Have you ever been desperate for something? Desperate for something to start? Desperate for something to end? Desperate for relief or for help? Especially when faced with a situation that is completely out of your control, when no amount of effort on your part will turn things around, or try as you might you just can’t find the answers, the only way to describe those types of predicaments is ‘desperate’. There have certainly been those times in my own life. Desperate for God’s help with my health, with my family, with my marriage, and certainly, with my kids. 

Desperate is how we all began this journey towards Christ. The mirror of truth was set before us and what we thought was righteousness was reflected as filthy rags. We were without hope when His everlasting love drew us to his side, His hand of mercy and grace kept us from what we deserved and gave us blessings that we didn’t earn, His kindness brought us to repentance, and His power saved us. We were desperate for Him to do what we could not do for ourselves. 

Desperate was how the disciples felt after the Lord they loved had been crucified and buried. When Jesus was raised from the dead and proved to be the savior they had all longed for, it satisfied the wages of sin for all mankind for all eternity. It was the one and only thing that ever could. Upon his ascension to Heaven, the disciples once again had those same feelings of desperation. After walking with Jesus in the flesh, after the gift of new life in Him, now He was gone and how could they possibly go fulfill His command to “go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.”?(Mark 16:15) As disciples of Christ, we are issued the same command and just as it did to the disciples in the Bible, it can leave us feeling desperate. 

The answer to that desperation is found in Acts 1:8, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” 

They had been told to wait “until you have been clothed with power from on high” (Luke ch. 24) and in Acts 2 we see the disciples praying and waiting on God to fulfill the promise of Jesus to them. I think ‘desperate’ would have been an accurate description of the time. They didn’t need just anything from the Lord, they needed what had been specifically promised to them. No AAA battery substitute would provide the kind of power that was required to fulfill the command. When the Holy Spirit fell in that room on the day of Pentecost and filled the disciples, it was the match that lit the fuse, and the gospel message was indeed proclaimed throughout the world. However, they were not equipped to minister until that infilling, and mom, neither are you. 

When we think of the word minister it can conjure up many mental images: a portly gentleman in a three piece suit carrying a Bible and profusely sweating as he walks door to door, a young guy sporting the latest fashion trend inviting teenagers to small group at the local cafe, an elderly gentleman with a melodious voice preaching behind a large wooden pulpit… it’s probably different for all of us. Used in verb form, it is an extremely accurate description of what moms do in the everyday-ness of life. As mothers, our mission field is first and foremost found within the confines of our very own homes. Like dropping a pebble into a pond of stilled water, the ripple effect from that point of impact stretches far and wide. If you have stuck with this book to make it all the way to chapter three, then you should by now realize that I am not speaking to a woman’s ability to properly nourish, care for, provide for, or even superficially behave in a loving manner towards their child. I am not speaking to a certain vocational subgroup of stay at home mom vs. one working outside the home. I am speaking specifically to women who need to understand that what you are doing in your homes and for your families is ministry. This is not ‘The Gospel According to Dr. Spock’. This is God-centered, God-glorifying, sanctified, boots on the ground, life-altering MINISTRY, and to accomplish everything that God has called us to do, we are in need of the exact same things the disciples were in need of, we are all in desperate need of the daily help of the Holy Spirit. 

“The experience of Pentecost is the sanctifying and empowering reality that God has provided as the necessary equipment to live, work, and die in this present age in a way that gives him glory. And without it, we are fighting ill-equipped.” – Dr. Mark Rutland 

Being a mom is not unique to Christians, but we are not to function in the role the same way as non-believers. We are to be sanctified, set apart to be used by and for God. Christian women should not behave, look, or think like the world and having children ups the ante. If for some reason you are under the impression that having been filled with the Spirit once, your on-going need is thusly satisfied, allow me to challenge that. This is not a one-and-done type experience. We are talking about a daily infilling, a fierce and urgent hunger, empowering a believer for the task ahead. If once had been enough then the story of Pentecost in Acts 2 would have been the end of that narrative. But as early as Acts 4 we see Peter and John going back to the believers after having performed miracles, preaching, having been called before the Sanhedrin, and “After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.”vs.31. These are the same ones who had just been filled two chapters prior! 

We who pour out daily must be filled, and refilled, with the Holy Spirit. 

John 14:25, 26 says, “All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirt, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”

Part of the Holy Spirits’ work in our lives is to teach and to remind us of what we have been taught. It’s the kind of insight that gives us those “Ah-Ha!” moments when we read the Bible. The kind of subconscious twinges that happen when we hear a word preached that feels like the speaker has been reading our mail. The kind of conviction that turns our stomachs sour when we sin. When we not only can identify those things as the Holy Spirit trying to get our attention, but we actively submit ourselves to him in those moments, we are walking down the road of an authentic life with Christ as our guide. That is the type of walk that not only speaks Jesus to our children, but also takes them by the hand and shows them. It’s not perfection, it’s surrender. Remember in our last chapter I spoke about the need for authenticity in discipling our children. If what they see is a Sunday morning faith, the message doesn’t just get lost in the shuffle, but what little they do see positively radiates hypocrisy. This is not about setting the timer for a 20min Bible study every morning before school or switching the car radio station from Pop music to Worship tunes. Those things are fine, but what I’m speaking too is the heart posture of surrender in every area the Holy Spirit puts his magnifying glass to and brings to our attention. That kind of authenticity is lived out in the posture of, “I need you, come fill me, teach me, remind me, I’m yielded to you, empower me, all for you.” By being filled and refilled with the Holy Spirit it helps you live in that posture of surrender; one that your children will see. Trust that if your kid knows the difference between the latest Nike shoe they just have to have for school, and the bobo Walmart version that just won’t cut it, you definitely can’t get through 18 years sporting a Sunday morning faith without them knowing it’s a knock-off brand. 

Titus 3:3-8 “At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.” 

The Holy Spirit renews us. He ‘makes like new’ things such as our minds, our strength, the joy of our salvation, our hope. When the weight and cares of this world seek to distract us, to harden our hearts, to leave us tired and hopeless the Holy Spirit comes in and re-news us. We are renewed so that we may “devote ourselves to doing what is good.” Daily ministering is hard work! Every morning we need to wake up with a prayer on our lips that says like the song writer, “Lord, I need thee, oh I need thee. Every hour I need thee!” We wake up with desperate cries identifying with the Psalmist when he wrote, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul thirsts for God, for the living God.” We say “Fill me with the Holy Spirit. New and fresh today.” This is the type of prayer offered during those long nights when the whole family has simultaneously contracted the stomach flu, and the house looks more like a war-time medic tent than a haven. This is the type of prayer offered up during times of grief and unimaginable sadness, when you are desperately trying to hold the family up. It is also the prayers that should be said on beautiful mornings filled with love and gratitude, knowing that “every good and perfect gift if from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17) God’s answer to those that would seek is found in Luke 11 – “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” The Holy Spirit is poured out generously so that in renewing us we can then go out and continue in good works unto the Lord. We need to remember that everything we do as moms should be done heartily, with thanksgiving, as unto the Lord! Is it hard? Absolutely. Can we do it on our own? Nope. Think I’m exaggerating? You try living in a constant state of sleep deprivation and see if even the menial tasks get done “heartily as unto the Lord”. We must be filled with the Spirit! The Holy Spirit transforms us, it guides us, it empowers us to good works, and the fruit of it becomes nourishing as it is lived out in our homes. 

John 15: 4-8 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”

Galatians 5: 22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” 

You have been fruitful. Now, be fruitful! I don’t know of a single woman who doesn’t want a house imbued with love, joy, peace. We all want to be patient, gentle, and have self-control. We all want to raise good and faithful families. Fruit like this is only produced from the Spirit. If you want the fruit, you have to start with the root. The root is, be filled with the Spirit. The type of mom who seeks to nourish and sustain her household is the type of mom who is actively seeking the Holy Spirit.