Sample Chapters

Chapter One:

Just If I’d…

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is now law.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

Biblical Justification vs. Personal Justification

Hi, my name’s Kyla, and I’m a rule-follower. I use my blinker in parking lots, read all those papers they make us sign at the doctor’s office, count my groceries before I get in the express lane, and almost always tuck my chair in when I leave a table. Not only am I a rule-follower, but I also don’t understand why everyone else isn’t. I mean, it’s the rule.

Because of this resistance to rule bending, because of my insistence on doing things by the book, because of my inability to just go with the flow, I will allow myself to feel justified in my reaction to the rules being broken.

Justified.

Justified.

Just.if.ied.

Just if ied.

Just if I’d.

A rule I keep at the top of the list is returning or turning in items you find that don’t belong to you. We shouldn’t have to post that one. It should be a given. Oh, look, I found twenty dollars just sitting here at the cash register. I should turn it in, right? Of course, you turn it in! (Yes, I did accidentally leave twenty dollars in the “cash back” slot of a self-checkout that did not get returned or turned in, so that one hits me a little more personally.)

One of my most reckless moments of feeling justified in seeking justice happened just a few years after I became a single mom. The kids and I had left a store when I noticed my phone was missing. We drove back to the parking lot, checked the shopping carts, asked the customer service desk, everything we could think of.

I was upset and determined to find the phone when I suddenly remembered I had an app on my tablet at home that would tell me where my phone was, so the kids and I hurried to the house. The app showed my phone at a residence all the way across town from the store we went to.

Now, a sane person would probably call the police or something practical like that. What did I do? I jumped in my car with my three beautiful, innocent children and drove to the address where my phone was located. It didn’t appear to be the safest part of town, but my adrenaline was pumping and I was going to get that phone back at all costs.

As I drove up to the house, there were several shirtless men standing on the porch around an outdoor grill. I stepped out of my car from the street, put my fist on my hip, and waved my other hand in the air as I loudly proclaimed, “My phone went missing back at the store, and this app is telling me it’s here at this house. You boys wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

I would never under any normal circumstances drive up to a complete stranger’s house in a part of town I know nothing about and begin throwing out accusations at a porch full of shirtless, barbecuing men.

But I felt justified.

Justified in putting myself and my children in what could have been a dangerous situation.

Justified in accusing a group of people who I knew nothing about of something I wasn’t sure of. We could’ve lost our lives. Over a phone! (Yes, I did get it back.)

I think back to some of the times I felt justified. It makes me shudder and feel ashamed at the things I said and ways I behaved. I think of how I treated complete strangers, teachers, coaches, friends, family, and even those whom I’ve been entrusted to love and cherish all in the name of feeling justified. I justified my frustration with my children, my reaction to workers or telemarketers, my anger with other drivers on the road, my divorce, and many others.

[Sidebar: What are some examples of times you’ve tried to justify an action or words spoken? How did you feel after that/those incident(s)? End Sidebar]

Justified, in the Biblical sense of the word, means to be declared or made righteous in the sight of God. This is a gift freely given to us by His grace. Justified. To put it simply, the moment we accept that Jesus is who He says He is and we decide to put our trust and faith in Him alone, the moment of our salvation, we are justified and made right with God.

We don’t earn anything on our own. There are no rules or laws we can follow that deem us fit for salvation. Nothing we can do justifies us or makes us good enough. We are justified through Christ and considered righteous even though we are still sinners. Biblical, Christ-driven justification. (see Romans 3:21-24)

[Sidebar: Spend a few minutes reading over the verses from Romans 3:21-24 and consider what it means to be justified by Christ. What does that mean to you personally? End Sidebar]

However, what happens when we try to justify ourselves? Where do we find ourselves when we look to justify our actions, our words, our behaviors toward others? Can we possibly justify ourselves? Can we have a good excuse for behaving in a way that would not be acceptable except in this specific instance?

The only true justification we can ever receive is that which is described above. Unfortunately, sometimes, or maybe even often, in an effort to defend ourselves, we justify our actions based on what we’ve been given to deal with. I would normally never say that, do that, act like that, but I felt justified in doing so after the way they were behaving.

Justified.

When we feel justified in our actions and words, we exhibit it in many different ways.

I sure showed them. Anger.

That will teach them not to mess with me. Revenge.

I wouldn’t usually behave that way, but I felt justified in my actions. Excuses.

At times, I even boast about such behavior. Why behave inappropriately if you can’t brag about how necessary it was to act in that particular way? Pride.

[Sidebar: Do you tend to justify your actions because of anger, excuses, revenge, or pride? Is there something else other than one of these that pushes you to justify yourself? End Sidebar]

Justified.

Just if I’d.

Just if I would…

Hm…just if I’d…love others deeply.

Just if I’d find unavoidable joy.

Just if I’d be at peace in the storms. Just if I’d be patient in the waiting. Just if I’d show extravagant kindness. Just if I’d reflect His goodness, have flourishing faith, approach Kingdom work with gentleness, exhibit self-control in all things. Just if I’d.

[Sidebar: Compare the justification we receive through Christ with the justification you use to defend your actions. What do you see as the driving force behind Christ’s justification? What is the driving force behind personal justification? End Sidebar]

Letting the Spirit Lead

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, gentleness, self-control. At first glance, I look at all this fruit, and it feels like an impossible order. Can I really be expected to display all of those? God knows me, right? He knows I bite the inside of my lips to stop myself when I become impatient. He knows I’ve been the giver of hurtful comments and unkind behavior more times than I can count. He knows my faith waivers back and forth almost daily. He knows I personally struggle with self-control in a multitude of areas in my life from making healthy choices to general over-indulgence in things that make me feel good. If He knows these things about me, and if He loves me, why would He put this insurmountable list of unattainable goals in front of me? With all the issues and problems I carry, He can’t really expect me to carry this kind of fruit, too. Can He?

[Text Box: Lessons from the Garden: Why fruit? I mean, why does the Word refer to fruit of the Spirit instead of the veggies of the Spirit or the flowers of the Spirit or something else other than fruit? I only have a theory on why we were given the term fruit of the Spirit. Fruit grows off a vine or branch and the Holy Spirit represents the vine because the fruit comes from the Spirit. When one fruit is picked from the branch and consumed, it’s okay, because more can grow in its place. As a matter of fact, fruit can not only be picked, it can spread seed. As the fruit spreads, it creates new growth wherever it lands. As our fruit of the Spirit grows and is cultivated, we spread the seeds of those qualities everywhere we go, creating new growth all around us. End Text Box]

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Jesus doesn’t expect us to carry it all. He expects us to join with Him, to be renewed by His strength, and then the fruit will spill out of us. Another paraphrased version of the Bible refers to Jesus in these verses as an oasis.

When we walk through a desert, through a drought, through the hard times of life, He is our wellspring. If you’re stumbling through the desert, parched and starving for refreshment, you want nothing more than to find an oasis, a place that can renew you and give you life. That’s what Jesus is. He is the Oasis we need, that this world needs.

So, the question is how? You may be thinking, “Okay, Jesus is my Oasis and the Holy Spirit develops the fruit of the Spirit in my life. What does that even mean? How does that happen?”

When I was in college, I dated a cowboy who really knew how to dance. I don’t mean just two-stepping across the dance floor either. That boy could dance. Yet, he had the misfortune of dating me. You see, I can’t dance.

For one thing, I’m left-handed. What that means is my leading foot or arm is always the opposite of everyone else. I’m over fifty years old and, in order to determine my left from my right, I still have to hold up my thumbs and forefingers to see which hand makes an L. Remember how, in the high school pep squad, there was always that one girl who swayed the wrong direction from everyone else or who held up the opposite pom-pom from the girls around her? That was me.

So, the first time this young man and I went out dancing, I was sure it would be a disaster. I have a clear memory of how it all went down. The DJ played a fast country song, and the boy took my hand to lead me out onto the dance floor. I was hesitant and reminded him that I couldn’t dance like that and he’d have to slow it down for me to keep up. He just smiled and said, “Don’t worry. I’ll lead. You just follow.”

We stepped onto that dance floor, he grabbed ahold of me, and off we went. Together, we twirled around the dance floor with him spinning me in and out, moving from one side of the dance floor to the other. The whole time he held tightly to me, leading me all across and around the entire space. He was such a good lead that all I needed to do was follow. It didn’t matter that I was left-handed or had no idea what I was doing. My feet just naturally followed his.

As we spun around the dance floor, I remember throwing my head back and laughing. I mean, what in the world? How was I possibly doing this? But, you see, it wasn’t me. It was him. I was only able to dance like that because I followed his lead.

“Teach me to do your will,

for you are my God!

Let your good Spirit lead me

on level ground!” (Psalm 143:10)

Similarly, the Holy Spirit is sent into our lives to be our lead. He’s never worried about whether or not we’re left-handed, or clumsy, or smart enough, or too broken, or overly anxious, or wounded, or…

He smiles and whispers, “Don’t worry. I’ll lead. You just follow.” He reaches out His hand, waiting for us to take hold of Him. It doesn’t matter what the dance is, whether it’s a simple two-step or a complicated ballroom waltz. If you trust Him, if you take His hand and step out onto the dance floor, He will hold tightly to you and lead, your feet will naturally follow, and you will be amazed at what you’re capable of as you move in step with Him.

“rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” (Colossians 2:7)

It’s impossible to discuss the fruit of the Spirit without spending time focusing on the Holy Spirit, the source of the fruit. Throughout my time studying and learning about each fruit, the qualities of the Spirit, I found myself comparing the work of the Holy Spirit to that of a gardener. He works continually, daily in our lives, digging and searching and pruning. He creates avenues for fruit to grow and be dispersed all while renewing and strengthening us so we can flourish and thrive for the good of the Lord and all He has for us.

“The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.” (Genesis 1:2)

The Holy Spirit was there from the beginning, hovering over the waters. We are sometimes mistaken in thinking the Spirit of God only came after Jesus died. Not so. He’s been there all along. However, after the death of Christ, He no longer came upon people briefly as He had done before Jesus. He now comes and lives inside of us, always staying with us.

“And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.” (Ezekiel 36:27)

He’s working in us always, trying to maintain the garden of who we are, beautifying us through His work, but we have to be accessible. We have to make ourselves available and open to the work He’s doing in us.

If you’re a homeowner and you have a gardener come over to clean up and landscape your garden, he can’t do the work if you aren’t making an effort to maintain the garden on your end. You can’t refuse to water, let your dog dig in the dirt, and throw garbage into the garden and then expect the gardener to come back and cultivate any growth. He can clean it up for you on occasion, but he can’t do much beyond that. You must listen to what he tells you about how to maintain the garden in between each visit.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

Leviticus is not an easy book to study, but you can learn more about the seriousness of treating the temple with care in those chapters. I realize this was the mobile tabernacle of the Old Testament, but I can’t help to see a parallel in the physical temple of the Israelites where the Spirit of God dwelled and your body being the temple of the Holy Spirit.

The temple is the place where Heaven meets Earth, and it’s right there inside of you. Being open and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in you, listening for His voice, and following His lead as you move from one day to the next gives Him access to you in a way that will make it possible for Him to create beauty from ashes, to keep the temple Holy, and to grow the fruit of the Spirit.

Having the indwelling of the Holy Spirit is just a taste of what awaits us. I feel the physical presence of the Holy Spirit, and knowing that’s only a drop of what is to come is mind-blowing. The Spirit walking with us and living inside of us is the beginning of the glory that is to come.

Moving Forward

You can’t go backwards. If you asked for it, God forgave those mistakes, those times of poor judgement, those moments you chose to justify yourself. He forgot those past behaviors. You need to move forward into a place where you can freely offer grace to others in the same way it has so generously been poured out to you.

Just if I’d show more grace. It sounds simple, but it takes great effort. It’s a matter of being constantly aware of what’s going on around you and making a conscious decision to act in ways that may go against how others make you feel at times. It means asking God to allow you to see others through His eyes and following the Holy Spirit’s lead daily.

[Sidebar: What does it mean to see others through God’s eyes? How does that change your perception of people? End Sidebar]

My prayer is that the following chapters will open up new understandings of the work of the Holy Spirit and each fruit of the Spirit, giving you Biblical examples of how they played out in the stories of the Bible, obstacles we face in developing them in our present lives, and practical ways to see how you can foster a daily relationship with the Spirit and continually work toward producing more and more fruit in your own life. That you will be firmly planted in Him and His Word and spiritual fruit and gratitude will flow out of you.

The Biblical meaning of justification is humbling, undeserved, and filled with grace and love, yet, when we justify ourselves, it switches to a stubbornness that is smug and full of ego and pride. We can’t save ourselves. We can’t justify ourselves. We can only bathe in the grace that is continually poured out upon us and accept the free gift of justification we don’t deserve, can’t earn, and will never be able to gain on our own.

When we openly accept that Jesus is who He says He is and find ourselves humbly accepting this gift of righteousness in the eyes of God, we begin to feel less justified and start looking for more ways to contemplate, “Just if I’d.”

[Sidebar: Which of the nine fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, do you feel you struggle with the most? Why do you think that’s been hard, and how can you actively work with God to help develop and ripen that fruit in your life? End Sidebar]

Prayer Focus:

Thank God for sending His Son into the world to justify us and save us from our sins.
Pray you will be presented with opportunities to show grace and mercy to those around you and to offer the sweetness of the good fruit He is producing in your life.
Ask that He will guide you and strengthen you in your journey to consider, “Just If I’d…”
Chapter Two:

Just If I’d…Love Others Deeply

“So now, faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)

I love dark chocolate. I love afternoon naps. I love rain, laughing until my belly hurts, playing board games with my family, and snuggling with my sheepadoodle, Lucy. You’d be hard-pressed to find too many things I don’t love. I love to love. Rarely do I say I like something. Nope. If I like it, I love it.

Yet, I haven’t always freely shared that same kind of sentiment when I talk about people. I mean, I like her. He’s okay. They kind of get on my nerves. And I love her, but her kid drives me crazy. When in my head did I get to the place where I’d say I love caramel macchiato but only kind of like this person or that person in the right circumstances or environment? Misuse and overuse of the word love has diminished the power and significance of its true meaning.

1 Corinthians 13, the verses heard round the world at every wedding ever since the beginning of time. If you’ve been married, or been in a wedding, or been at a wedding, you’ve likely heard at least part of this chapter shared before the lovely couple exchanged their vows. However, if you step back and take a look at the entire chapter, there’s so much more to unpack and process in these verses.

The love Paul was speaking about in 1 Corinthians 13 is agape love. The four types of love are eros (passionate), philia (brotherly), storge (parental), and agape. Agape love is the highest form of love there is. It’s a love that’s based on action, not feelings, a selfless love that expects nothing in return. It is a perfect, sacrificial love that was modeled by Jesus Himself. When we say God is love, agape love is the love we’re referring to. This is what we strive for when we say we want to live and love like Jesus.

Love is Our Wind

In 1 Corinthians 12, we read about the spiritual gifts imparted to Christians. As Christians, we are all specially gifted spiritually in at least one area. Some of those gifts are serving, teaching, leadership, mercy, and giving, just to name a few. I could take this a completely different direction and spend a great deal of time going into detail about spiritual gifts and how to discover the ways the Holy Spirit has gifted each one of us. Instead, I will urge you to be prayerful and intentional about identifying the spiritual gifts you most easily access and how to develop and use all the gifts of the Spirit.

Paul was speaking to the Corinthian church in these verses. He encouraged them to use their spiritual gifts the way they were intended to be used. He wanted them to realize that the gifts should not be used for their own personal gain or to show off their abilities. The purpose of their gifts was for the benefit of others, not themselves. They needed to realign themselves and be brought back into right-thinking. The use of their spiritual gifts needed to be rooted in love.

[Sidebar: What does it look like to use your spiritual gifts for personal gain? End Sidebar]

Looking back at 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, without love, according to these verses, our works are useless and our gifts do no good. Without love, we can’t be taken seriously. If you speak truth and minister to others but those words are not backed by love, your words are empty. They will be heard as nothing more than noise in the ears of those who hear them. If you can understand and comprehend mysteries beyond what others can understand and act as a spokesman for God but do not have love as the foundation for your work, then what you do, what you say, what you prophesy will have no meaning. If you have extraordinary faith or if you have the gift of giving but do not exercise that gift with love, nothing is gained.

If you try to put your spiritual gifts into practice, whatever they may be, but are not practicing those gifts out of love, then your efforts are useless. All you do, everything you say, all the ways you interact with others should be done out of love. Love first.

[Sidebar: Why do you think it’s necessary to have love in order to utilize your spiritual gifts and have an impact on others? End Sidebar]

Think about flying a kite for a minute. What do you need to fly a kite? What are the outside conditions necessary for the kite to take flight? Wind. If you don’t have the wind to take hold of that kite and cause it to soar, you will just continue to run, dragging the kite behind you, trying desperately to get it into the air. How would you feel after several attempts at getting the kite in the air? Exhausted. You would eventually take your kite, cram it into the back of the car, and leave. The next time you want to fly your kite, you may remember how difficult it was the time before and never even make the attempt to fly it again.

The American Kitefliers Association states, “Steady winds are the best for kiteflying.”1 Steady, constant, even, stable. Not just any wind will do. If the wind is too forceful, it can be overwhelming. If the wind is too light, it can be weak. If the wind is too choppy, it can be unpredictable. The wind needs to be steady and reliable.

Love is our wind. When we go out into the world to practice and develop our spiritual gifts, we need love to activate those gifts. We need steady, constant, stable love to cause those gifts to soar. Without love, the wind that pushes our gifts, we are simply running and running and running, making attempts to push our gifts out into the world without love to back them up. We don’t see any change. We don’t see our gifts making a difference and become exhausted in our attempts, so we take our gift, stuff it away, and stop trying.

[Sidebar: Like flying a kite without wind, have you ever found yourself without love backing your actions when it comes to exercising your spiritual gifts or ministering to others? How did that work out for you? End Sidebar]

[Text Box: Lessons from the Garden: Just like all plants need at least some water, all people need love. Without love, faith can’t grow. Others won’t turn their hearts over to the Lord if they aren’t led to Him through the avenue of love. So, be a sprinkler, be a soaker hose, be a heavy duty, high-pressure garden hose. However you choose to deliver love, by gently sprinkling it or heavily soaking those around you, deliver it well and keep your hose in good condition so the love can easily flow through. End Text Box]

[Sidebar: Read over 1 Peter 4:10-11. How do these verses compliment what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13? End Sidebar]

Defining Love

What does this love look like? Is it snuggling and hugs and all things that feel good and make you feel warm inside? I looked at several dictionary definitions of the word love. Nowhere in the definitions, synonyms, related words, or anywhere else will you find love described as it is in 1 Corinthians 13. You won’t find the words patient or kind. You won’t see anything about protecting, trusting, or hoping. What you will find are words like affection, admiration, passion, devotion, attachment, and loyalty.2

The Bible tells me love never fails. I know from experience that affection slows, admiration dwindles, passion has its ups and downs, and devotion, attachment, and loyalty can all be shattered in mere seconds. These verses were read at my wedding but my marriage ended, and it ended badly. Patience and kindness were scarce and envy, pride, and anger were abundant during many years of my marriage. What happened? Did love fail? The love I experienced was not characteristic of the love God calls us to.

The dictionary cannot match up with the Bible. The dictionary definition is more about receiving love than giving it. It doesn’t harmonize with Paul’s. Paul’s definition of love, agape love, is a choice rather than a feeling, and it’s a choice you make on a daily basis. It’s impossible to fall out of love when you view it this way. Sometimes it’s easy, and sometimes it’s hard, just like any other choice. You choose to love not just when it’s easy and when others are lovable, but when it’s hard and others are unlovable and selfish.

To love others, we must look past how we want to feel and what we have to gain and look toward what we have to offer. Patience. Let your one more chance always have one more chance following it. Patience with my family. Patience with my coworkers. Patience with my children. That one makes me cringe, because sometimes, unfortunately, those little ones saw the worst of me.

My middle child has told me (multiple gut-wrenching times) about once when I lost my patience with him and how he never could forget the look on my face in that moment and how scared he was. He laughs about it now. I know my other two children have similar memories that occurred at one time or another. What was I thinking? Why was I so angry and impatient? What could have placed me there in that point in time? Did he not want to nap? Did he not pick up his toys? Whatever it was, it doesn’t matter. I had no excuse to behave that way to someone who trusted me to love him. I am sure that, right then, he did not feel loved at all.

I look at those three now as they grow into young adults and see these remarkable human beings who I’m so incredibly proud of. Then I recall some of my poor choices in parenting, moments I wish I could relive and be more encouraging and loving in. However, I can only learn from my past mistakes and work toward living a better example, work toward reacting in love.

[Sidebar: “Let love be genuine.” (Romans 12:9a) What does this mean and how can we abide by it? End Sidebar]

Allies and Opposition to Love

One example of a man who showed Biblical love to another is in 2 Timothy 1. When others turned away from Paul as he was imprisoned, when others abandoned him and were ashamed of him, Onesiphorus loved him.

“May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains, but when he arrived in Rome he searched for me earnestly and found me – may the Lord grant him to find mercy from the Lord on that day! – and you well know all the service he rendered at Ephesus.” (2 Timothy 1:16-18)

Paul had been abandoned by many of his friends, but not Onesiphorus. Onesiphorus showed kindness to Paul because of his love for his brother in Christ. Paul likely preached the Gospel in Ephesus, and Onesiphorus, along with his household, received the message.

Think of the people in your life who helped lead you to Christ. How do you regard these individuals? Onesiphorus would do anything he could for Paul. He’d travel a great distance and search for Paul until he found him and could help him. He’d encourage Paul and visit him. Onesiphorus would never be ashamed of his connection to this imprisoned man because he loved Paul for what he did for him and his family. Onesiphorus’ kindness and love was birthed from a place of gratefulness for all Paul did in his life and the lives of those he loved, and Paul reciprocated that love back to Onesiphorus.

[Sidebar: “Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,” (1 Peter 1:22) Think about how this verse applies to you personally. Explain how you can model this in your day-to-day living. End Sidebar]

1 Corinthians 13 mentions envy, pride, and anger. If there was an army preparing itself to defeat love, it would be led by these three. I can see the soldiers.

Envy. His eyes dart from here to there, constantly looking at everyone around him, comparing himself to them, and finding any way to resent those surrounding him.

Why do others look to him instead of me?

I want what he has.

What did she ever do to deserve that kind of luck?

Pride. His chest puffed up and looking down his nose at anyone who passes by. Instead of resenting others as envy does, he boasts and brags on himself fed by his conceit and ego.

Look at all I have.

Look at all I do.

See how much better I am than everyone else.

Anger. He rages at everything and everyone that nears him. His tone is harsh, and his tongue is quick. He loves to torture others with his heated temper and fill them with shame and fear.

I’ll show her.

Do you really want to mess with me?

You haven’t seen mad.

There is no room for these things in the love God calls us to share. These are all actions that show opposition to love.

Redemptive Love

Even though Ruth experienced a great deal of loss and uncertainty, her story is filled with moments of giving and receiving love. Ruth’s journey begins with heartache and despair, but Ruth responds with love. And that love comes back to her in a way that ties her story of redemption directly to us.

“And she said, ‘See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.’ But Ruth said, ‘Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.’ And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.” (Ruth 1:15-18)

So many amazing things come out of this one commitment Ruth makes to her mother-in-law. These women experienced more hardship than anyone should have to endure; the deaths of all the men in their lives, the loss of their home, the financial struggle of being widowed women during a time when women were given little regard, the absence of any family protection.

Consequently, they were left alone to fend for themselves in what must have seemed like a foreign land even though it was Naomi’s home. But for Ruth, it was a foreign land. She was not Jewish. She was a Moabite, different from the people of the land she committed to stay in. She was not one of them, but her love for Naomi and Naomi’s God would not allow Ruth to depart from her.

Through this commitment, Ruth meets Boaz. Boaz was a man of integrity who lived a God-honoring life. He was wealthy, but also kind and generous. Ruth was disadvantaged, but not bitter or saddened. Boaz recognized Ruth’s strong character and the way she lovingly cared for her mother-in-law.

As luck would have it (or more appropriately stated, as God would have it), Boaz was a relative of Ruth’s deceased husband and close in line to marry her, according to Jewish law. Through a series of events in the book of Ruth, Boaz eventually took the appropriate steps to become Ruth’s kinsman-redeemer and married her.

It’s a beautiful story, but it doesn’t end there. This foreign woman made a commitment to God and His people. Because of her faithfulness, God blessed her. She made her way from being the foreign Moabite widow of a Jewish man to becoming the wife of Boaz and ultimately the great-grandmother of King David.

Jesus descended from King David which means He also descended from Ruth, the foreign Moabite woman. This incredible love story goes much deeper than the story of Naomi, Ruth, and Boaz. It shows that redemption and salvation are for everyone and that Jesus died for and loves us all. We are all in His line of descendants, no matter where we originate from.

As we work toward finding more opportunities to love others, we need to be willing to accept love in return. For some people, often because of their past hurts or disappointments, this can be hard. Opening your heart to accept love from others feels vulnerable if you’ve been hurt in the past.

For me, loving others is easier than receiving love, but God created us to love and be loved. How can we honestly and genuinely share love if we don’t know how to allow others to love us in return? Accepting love is part of His plan for us. He sends others into our lives to love us, and when we reject that or push that love away, it’s as if we are rejecting Him.

I find that, in general, we are becoming less and less aware of those around us because we are constantly taking care of ourselves. From checking our phones to rushing to appointments, obligations, commitments, and so on, we have started ignoring all the people around us. We rush past others who could use a helping hand or a willing ear without even a glance in their direction. It’s not that we don’t care. It’s not that we wouldn’t stop if we knew they needed us. We don’t see them.

Our society is occupied by people who don’t know how to ask for help, people who think they would be seen as weak to ask for a hand. We need to look up, see what is going on around us, and pay attention to the people who are put in our path.

This world is full of broken people. Once we accept that, once we look up from our phones, pause from our busyness, and take the time to look around and see the truth in that statement, then we will begin to better understand our purpose in the lives of others.

If you saw a man drop his bag while hobbling down the sidewalk on crutches, you would notice. We can’t see the crutches of the heart or the wounds of the spirit, but they are there. Yet, we are expecting people to move about as if their wounds don’t matter, as if they’re perfectly fine. In actuality, we are all just a bunch of broken people walking around trying to keep from dropping our bags on the ground.

[Sidebar: “This world is full of broken people.” Do you agree with this statement? What are some ways we can be more in tune with those around us and less consumed with ourselves? End Sidebar]

Love Like Jesus

The more time I spend studying His Word and building a true relationship with the Lord, the more I realize that I can only begin to understand one tiny part of how God works. To put it in more visual terms, I can possibly see His pinky, one pinky. I can comprehend one pinky and the work it does, the blessings it brings, the protection it provides. But, to be able to stand back and truly see all of God, every aspect of who He is and what He does, would leave me beyond trembling, beyond speechless, beyond comprehension. For possibly the first time in my whole life, I can begin to understand how seeing Him in all His glory would be far more than any of us could possibly take in.

I wish I had some profound way to describe the impact knowing God and having a relationship with Him has had in my life throughout the years. All I can come up with is, “I love God. He’s the best!” It’s simply because there are no words that can be impactful enough, eloquent enough, precious enough to describe His perfect love and grace.

I think it’s easy to get stuck in between believing and following. I can compare it to being pregnant. You have nine months. You know it’s going to change your life. You know you’re going to love your baby. You know there is a lot to prepare for, but you can’t possibly understand the explosion that takes place in your heart when you first lay eyes on your child. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced, and you can’t put into words how much love you have inside of you for that baby.

The same can be applied to stepping out of ourselves and into the will of God. We’ve heard the Good News. We know the stories. We’ve tried our best to prepare and do the right things, but until we actually draw near to Him and begin a walking, talking relationship with the God of the universe, the Savior of our lives, we can’t truly know His impact. We are just walking around pregnant, waiting for the child to come.

The Good News is the Child already came, and He’s right there waiting for us to grab hold of Him and feel His incomprehensible love.

“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16)

God is love. Knowing this. Knowing that God is love and love is the greatest and most important fruit of the Spirit puts it all into perspective. Of course we love first. When we abide in love, we abide in God, and in turn, God abides in us. When we fully immerse ourselves in walking with God and acknowledging the presence of His Spirit in our lives, it’s practically impossible not to love.

Love protects. It guards others from harm, humiliation, and unnecessary criticism.

Love trusts. It believes in the goodness of others by not questioning motives or carrying suspicion around like a shield.

Love hopes. It has high expectations that can’t be broken.

Love perseveres. It doesn’t give up or give in.

Love doesn’t walk away when things get tough. Difficulty may come. It may seem as if there is no end to the suffering and the battle is all but lost, but Love never gives up.

To love this way requires a great deal of faith. Loving others deeply insists we put our hearts, our feelings, our emotions on the line, right there at the front of the battle. We have to get nose to nose with envy, pride, and anger. We must stand toe to toe with the enemy.

That’s a scary place to be. Right there. Vulnerable. When you let all the walls fall down and you love deeply, the way God calls us to love, your defenses are down. You are putting your faith in God to protect you because you are letting others into parts of your being that are easier to keep locked up behind protective gear.

I can speak as someone who’s been on both sides of the wall, so to speak. I have built walls of protection, and I have broken walls down. Living beyond the wall, stepping over the busted down cement and into light, offers a fullness of life that cannot be found inside those protective barriers.

When you build protection around yourself to keep the bad stuff out, you block most of the good from flowing in as well. You may build a wall to keep out one person, a group of people, or everyone. No matter who your wall is for, everyone you come into contact with is affected by it. You can tell yourself that you’re only building a wall for one person or a group of people, and you can work hard to balance who comes through and who doesn’t. Eventually, people you didn’t mean to keep out will be hurt by your wall. Your children. Your parents. Your spouse. Your closest friends. You may let them in or tell them they can come in, but they will have to climb. Depending on how high, how thick, how difficult the climb is, you may find it’s just too hard for them to get over to you.

[Sidebar: How can you show Biblical love to others? Is it possible to feel protected without building walls of protection? Why or why not? End Sidebar]

The only way to love deeply is to knock those barriers down and step boldly into His protective arms. And then love. Love strong. Love deep. Love more than you thought possible and more than anyone deserves because it’s what everyone needs. Love without borders. Isn’t that what Jesus did for you?

[Sidebar: What holds you back from being vulnerable and loving others deeply? Do you feel you are in a place where you can comfortably break down your walls and let others in? End Sidebar]

Jesus said in John 13:34-35, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Jesus doesn’t just ask us to love others. He doesn’t desire it for us or hope we love one another. Jesus commanded it. He didn’t say to love others as much as they deserve to be loved or as they have loved us. He said to love one another as He has loved us.

Jesus’ love for us is His whole story. His life, death, and resurrection are all about loving us and showing us how to love others. He loved us enough to switch places with us. He loved us enough to take all our burden, all our heaviness, all our sin and shame, pile it on His shoulders, and carry it to the cross.

“Jesus, I can’t make you carry all of this. It’s too much.”

He carried it.

“It’s heavy. It’s dirty. It’s a lot.”

He carried it.

“Why don’t I take part of it? I’ll give some of it to you, but I don’t want you to carry this. This part, it’s not for you to carry. It needs to stay with me. This part is really bad.”

He carried it.

“But, it’s not fair, Jesus. You’re already carrying his and hers and his and theirs. How can you carry it all?”

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

He carried it. He carried it all. That’s how much He loves us. “As I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” When we love others the way Jesus showed His love for us, we give of ourselves, we make sacrifices, we carry burdens and walk alongside others. We love others deeply and sincerely. And they’ll know we are Christians by our love.3

[Sidebar: Look back over John 13:34-35. Take note of how many times Jesus says “love one another” in these two verses. What does this say about how Jesus feels when it comes to us loving others deeply? End Sidebar]

*Special Note: Love as described in this chapter is meant for mutually respectful, healthy relationships. If you are in a situation where you feel unsafe, please seek help from a trusted pastor, Christian counselor, or, for immediate help in emergency situations, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-7233. Cyclical, manipulative behavior and control is not in God’s design for relationships of any kind.

Prayer Focus:

Thank God for giving us Christ who was the perfect example of the love we are called to have for others.
Pray for the ability to see others and their needs and for opportunities to love others like Jesus.
Ask Him to help you break down unhealthy barriers in your life that inhibit your ability to love and show you how to love others deeply the way He is calling you to.
Chapter Three:

Just If I’d…Find Unavoidable Joy

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13)

Find more joy? Are you kidding me? I can rarely find my keys, the remote that actually changes the channels on the TV, or a decent working pen anywhere in the house. If I weren’t typing these words right now, I would probably be writing in an almost dried out yellow highlighter. I can put my hands on keys, a remote, and pens. Those things are concrete and easy to find, yet I’m supposed to find more joy? I’m supposed to find joy in loneliness, in unpaid bills, in betrayals and friendships lost?

How do you find something you can’t see? How do you grab onto something you can’t hold? How do you live in joy when your life seems filled with disappointment and sadness?

In order to find more joy, we have to know where it’s found. In the case of my keys, I can usually check in about five or six places before true panic starts to set in. I’ll check my purse, the couch, the kitchen table, and the car cup holder.

When I can’t find my keys after looking in these places, then I start to rush around. Suddenly, I’m pulling cushions off couches and digging through dirty laundry. I may very well have the entire house turned upside down and three kids working as my own personal detectives in less than five minutes. It’s funny when we’re talking about keys, but what about joy?

[Sidebar: How do you react when you can’t find something important? At what point do you start to panic? End Sidebar]

Looking for Joy

If you define joy as everlasting happiness, you can easily find yourself on the same path of panic and destruction as you try desperately to hold onto something that is slipping away. Maybe you find your joy in another person. So long as you have that person in your life, you have joy. However, when that person is suddenly taken from you, either through death or because they chose to walk away, you may start grabbing at anyone put in your path, trying unsuccessfully to recapture the joy that was stolen from you.

Maybe you find your joy in things, but that joy is fleeting. When the joy of those material things begins to fade, when the newness wears off, you find yourself running out to replace that joy with the next great purchase. When you place your joy in things, you can find yourself stuck in a life of debt and financial ruin.

Perhaps your joy comes from a talent or ability you have. You spend much of your time perfecting your craft and strengthening your talent only to suffer some type of injury or disability that prohibits you from fulfilling the dream you were headed into. Suddenly your joy is gone, stolen, ripped right out of your hands. It’s at this point that joy may be replaced by addictions. “If I can’t have joy, then I’ll numb my pain.”

[Sidebar: How do we tie our happiness to people? Things? Talents? Which of these is your biggest struggle? End Sidebar]

I can speak into these areas because I dealt with them all. I spent a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to make everything look right. I thought if I could just get a handle on my family and what was going on in my home, I would be able to have joy and pass that joy on to my children. Then, early in the morning on October 19, 2011, I realized all those years of working and juggling and keeping everything pieced together were going to end in defeat. That moment stole my breath and left me beyond panic.

During the worst times of my marriage, I spent money and bought things to cope. When I couldn’t find happiness in my home, I went out and bought it. Like I said before, the newness wears off quickly, and that joy must be fed frequently in order for it to be maintained. The consequences of that behavior are not worth the short-lived rush of happiness it brings.

Since I was a child, I enjoyed writing and creating. I didn’t experience an injury, but I did wind up in a place where I felt I couldn’t create. I was told I should abandon my writing, and I fell into agreement with that statement. To have something so deeply embedded in you, such a part of who you are, and then to feel as though you can no longer have it as a part of your life, it’s like having a limb pulled from your body. It belongs in you. It’s supposed to be connected to you. It’s who you are. I struggled with this for a long time before I finally just let it go, and it took me even longer to feel comfortable with rediscovering it.

[Sidebar: Have you ever felt the panic of losing something or someone you can’t find or replace? Describe what that feels like to you. End Sidebar]

Joy in the Waiting

A Biblical example of someone who went through rejection and being cast away yet found joy in his situation is Joseph. Joseph’s brothers were cruel to him. They were jealous of him. They wanted him to go away, so they sold him into slavery. Joseph encountered trials along his journey, but he remained faithful to God.

Eventually, he found himself in a position to interpret a dream of the king of Egypt’s, also known as Pharaoh. Because of his interaction with Pharaoh and his reliance on God, Pharaoh found favor with Joseph and put him in charge of everything. Only Pharaoh held a higher rank than Joseph.

After twenty plus years of being separated from his family, Joseph’s brothers, having suffered a terrible famine in the land of Canaan, went to Egypt to buy grain so they could return home with it and keep the family from starving to death. This is where their paths cross again, Joseph and the brothers who tossed him out. Twenty years separated from his family.

Joseph could have felt bitter, angry, or resentful. He could have refused to help his brothers or even turned them into slaves the way they had done to him, but he didn’t.

Joseph felt utter joy in the moment he revealed who he was to his brothers. He saw past the trials and the hurt and was able to see how God worked the situation in favor of his family. Joseph’s joy spilled forth in the moment as he embraced his brothers and wept.

He wept tears of joy in knowing God’s hand played out all these events that would ultimately lead to his family’s survival and reunion. That joy was not produced from an easy life or unending material blessings. That joy was found in the deeper blessings of being faithful to God, seeing His hand in all the circumstances of their lives, and honoring the Lord. (see Genesis 45)

Another Biblical example of joy in the waiting came with the story of the birth of Jesus. “When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. And going into the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh.” (Matthew 2:10-11)

The wise men understood what the star meant. They were scholars of the Scriptures and knew about the coming Messiah and the signs of His arrival.

These men traveled a great distance and for a long time. When they finally arrived and were able to lay their eyes on the Christ child, they were filled with joy. Not because He would make them rich or fill their lives with material things or abounding talents, but because He was the Savior of the world. Because He had come to shepherd his sheep. Because He was the Messiah.

This is the same joy we should feel when we experience the saving grace of Jesus. Replace those words from Matthew 2 with your life experience from when you found Jesus for the first time.

When Jesus entered my heart, I rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.

When my darkened road was lit with the light of Jesus, I rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.

When Jesus pulled me from the pit of despair, I rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.

When I learned the truth of Jesus and that He covered my sin with His blood, I rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.

When Joy Goes Dark

My older two kids tease their little brother all the time by telling him he was a “save the marriage baby.” I always tell them they’re wrong and he was never thought of nor meant to be used as a save the marriage baby, but they still tease him about it.

Each child I have was a different experience. I was only twenty-three when my oldest, my daughter, was born. She was an easy baby. However, I didn’t have much experience with babies then. I was the first of my friends to get married and start a family. I was young and anxious with her. I struggled to enjoy my new role as a mom because I was such a ball of nerves. I remember cutting Cheerios in half when she was ten months old because I worried she’d choke on one.

I was 25 when my middle child was born, and he was a hard baby. He cried all the time, and I felt like a failure because of it. It seemed as though nothing I did comforted him.

Then came the baby. I was thirty and had more life experience and mom experience than I did with the first two. I also had a strong, faithful group of friends who were there to support and help me. He wasn’t an easy baby, but he wasn’t a hard baby either.

He was just normal; cried when he was supposed to cry, slept when he was supposed to sleep, ate when he was supposed to eat. I was confident with being a mom by the time he was born and able to enjoy those years of him being a baby. Plus, I had two amazing little helpers who trained me on how to be a mom.

Unfortunately, things in my life were getting to a very bleak place. I was losing hope and succumbing to the darkness closing in on me. My life felt completely jumbled and confusing, and my joy was just a flicker. All it took was one desperately dark moment, one little opening, for the enemy to come in and grab ahold of me. It was the crack he had been waiting for, and he was going to do all he could to break me.

It was a Tuesday. My older two kids were in school, and I dropped my youngest off at the Mother’s Day Out program at the church and was returning home. I don’t remember what was going through my mind on the drive home, but I know I was sinking. Everything felt so hopeless.

How would I ever get back to being me? How had I come to this point? Was I ever going to be able to escape this darkness? The enemy whispered, “No,” and I broke.

As I drove up the driveway toward the garage, the thought came to me. “Just pull in and shut the garage door. Leave the car running, shut the door, and close your eyes.” I don’t know how long I remained in that thought, but I was there.

When you get to this point, this deep dark hole, the thoughts in your head don’t always add up. I started thinking about how everyone would get home. I didn’t consider anything else. For whatever reason, I needed to sort out that everyone would make it home safely.

My husband was at work. He would drive himself home later that afternoon. The older kids were at school. They would ride the bus home when they got out. But the youngest, he would get done at 2:30. Who would get him? I knew I couldn’t call anyone because of the state of mind I was in, and if I wasn’t there to pick him up, what would he think? He would be so scared and feel like I had abandoned him. It didn’t dawn on me at the time that everyone would have felt that way, but it was that thought that stopped me.

The thought of him sitting there alone while teachers called trying to get ahold of me and reassured him that I’d be there soon. That thought broke my heart and quickly pulled me from the darkness and brought me back. It was like being snapped back into reality. And with that, I pulled into the garage trembling, went inside the house, and broke down in tears.

The kids tease him about being a “save the marriage baby,” I defend him, and everyone laughs. But in my heart, I know he wasn’t a save the marriage baby. He was a save my life baby.

I went to a place of hopelessness and despair, and it didn’t take much effort from the enemy to get me there. I let myself linger in a place of darkness for just a moment, and it sucked me in. The joy was completely shut out. I wasted so much time scrambling to find ways to fill my life with joy by looking in the wrong places and to the wrong people, that I hit the bottom of the hole and didn’t know how to get out. But as the enemy tried to pull me down, God was pulling back.

[Sidebar: What can you do to ensure your joy is never taken from you? End Sidebar]

[Text Box: Lessons from the Garden: According to crazygardening.com, hand trowels have many uses: breaking up soil, removing weeds, transplanting plants, applying compost or fertilizer, removing long-rooted plants, and creating furrows for seeds.1 Like a hand trowel, we must clean things up in our lives to make room for joy. We have to break down the hard things, remove the distractions, take out the deep-rooted habits and hurts, and create space for new growth. Then we need to nurture that new growth, that new joy, by feeding it well and tending to it often. We remove the bad things through dealing with our issues head on, whether that be through personal prayer and reflection or getting help through friends, mentors, or counselors. Once we have dealt with the hurt, we can cultivate joy. End Text Box]

I spent years without joy in my life. I tied my happiness to joy. I tied my security to joy. I tied my own personal circumstances to joy. When all the things in my life I’d been furiously scurrying around and super-gluing back together began to unravel, when my happiness, my security, my personal circumstances became shaky, I thought I would fall apart. I thought my chance at joy was being torn away. The stress and anxiety that were so abundant in my life would never allow room for joy.

Truth is, joy and happiness are not one in the same. Those things listed along with many others that may bring happiness into a person’s life can’t bring you true joy. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting we avoid relationships with others, material things, health, talents, or anything of the like that we may find happiness in, but joy is deeper.

Joy is spiritual. Joy is felt when happiness is nowhere to be found. Joy is strength, faith, and a spirit united with the trust that God knows, He cares, and He hasn’t forgotten us or left us alone. Instead, He’s always working and always protecting. In order to find this joy, we have to be growing in relationship with the Lord and allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us.

[Sidebar: What are some differences in happiness and joy? How can you tell the two apart? End Sidebar]

[Sidebar: “Joy is felt when happiness is nowhere to be found.” How is this possible? End Sidebar]

When you’re not walking closely with God, you begin to feel small and insignificant. His presence alone gives you meaning. He interferes with the devil’s schemes that lead you to tell yourself that you don’t matter. When you’re realigned with Him, your life instantly has meaning, not because of you, who you are, or what you do, but because of Him, who He is, and what He does through you, with you, and inside of you.

Being in daily communication with God and striving to know Him aligns your entire world. You are more keenly aware of everything He desires for you and how to live a righteous and pure life. When you’re walking closely with God, joy is unavoidable, even if everything going on around you suggests that joy should be unreachable.

[Sidebar: Happiness can be found, at times, in relationships with others, but true joy can only be found in relationship with the Lord. How are these relationships different and how can one bring only occasional happiness while the other brings everlasting joy? End Sidebar]

A King’s Joy

In 2 Samuel, David made a big production out of moving the Ark of God in the beginning of the chapter. He wanted this to be an event. He gathered everyone up, 30,000 troops. And they all headed out to bring the Ark of God back to the City of David.

Once there, they put the ark on a new cart and had Uzzah along with some other men guiding the cart along the way. As they moved along their path, the people celebrated before the Lord. It sounds okay. David’s intentions were true and honest. However, his excitement got ahead of the knowledge he needed in order to follow the Lord’s commands on how the Ark was to be transported; carried by priests, not a cart, and handled with extreme care.

The good intentions didn’t outweigh the need to follow the Lord’s instructions, and, unfortunately for Uzzah, there were severe consequences involved. Good intentions, however good they may be, still need to be aligned with the Lord’s expectations of us.

David felt defeated, angry, and afraid. I would imagine he felt a little embarrassed as well. Here he was, the king, bringing in tens of thousands of troops along with other people to witness this joyous occasion, and now he had to deal with his mistake and the fact that Uzzah lost his life in front of all these people.

After a few months passed, David tried again, but this time he followed the instructions set forth by the Lord. When the Ark made its way into the City of David, David was overcome with joy that poured out of him. He removed his royal clothes and put on a simple priestly garment.

Then he danced. He didn’t dance for recognition. He didn’t dance for the people. He didn’t dance for himself. He danced for the Lord. Unabashed, unapologetic, joyful dancing and worshiping for his Lord.

Imagine, a king, bringing himself down to a place of humility, shedding his kingly outer appearance, stepping down from the throne and out into the street with no regard for how he is seen or what others may think because he is wrapped up in praising his Father.

Could this be a small glimpse into what was to come from the King of kings and Savior of the world? Jesus, who stepped down from His heavenly throne, took on the outer appearance of a simple man, and joyfully served His Father, following Him all the way to Calvary.

[Sidebar: Read James 1:2-4 How do you feel about what James is saying here? Do you think it’s possible to have joy during trials? How? End Sidebar]

“looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

Jesus endured the cross for the joy that awaited Him. He suffered through the shame and pain of the crucifixion because of the joy of His salvation and what that salvation meant to those who would accept Him and follow Him. That joy is found in fellowship with God.

Joy in ALL Things

In my journey, I realized that joy was the one thing that couldn’t be taken from me. I could lose my home, my financial security, my control of the situation, but not my joy. The closer I grew to the Lord and the deeper I dug into His Word, the more my joy grew, and it was in no way dependent on my life circumstances. That joy was completely dependent on my relationship with Him.

In my valley, I chose to look up. I looked up and I saw. I saw past the brokenness, past the darkness, past the weakness. I saw joy that can’t be taken and faith that can’t be shaken. I saw that nothing else matters, nothing else satisfies, nothing else heals, revives, and sustains me aside from my relationship with Him. New life. New hope. New fruit.

Bad news on this earth doesn’t negate the good news of Christ. It doesn’t dismiss it, nor shrink it, nor demolish it. Nothing happens on this earth that can nullify the work of Jesus. This Good News is about the joy, the grace, and the hope of the Lord. That He voluntarily came, voluntarily gave, and then, voluntarily, He died for us. For me, for you, for your friends and your enemies. So, all the bad news, all the bad things, all the confusing and saddening things of this world are replaced with the Good News.

So, what about the really bad news, the things that pop up in life and knock you off your feet? When you are cruising along with an ear-to-ear grin on your face that’s stolen in one sentence? I lost my dad to cancer six years ago. My dad was supposed to live to see his grandkids have kids. He was supposed to retire and play golf every day. He was supposed to get really, really old, give me advice, and make me laugh for many more years.

Then one day this thought ran through my head, “What has cancer given you?” and I stopped thinking about what we were losing and began thinking about what we had gained. I was able to see how our lives had been altered and how we’d changed as a family unit.

We slowed down. We cherished moments. We valued our time together. Then, when the time came, we handled death differently. Were we sad? Of course. Do we miss my dad? Absolutely. But our faith reminds us of what is to come.

How do we find joy in cancer? I can’t explain it, and I don’t fully understand it, but it is possible. All the great-grandchildren, golf games, good times, and laughs with family can’t be traded for what lies ahead. We live on earth for a short time, and we reside in Heaven for eternity, in the presence of God, and nothing, not even death, can steal the joy that the Lord gives us even in our sadness and grief.

[Sidebar: Think about something you have experienced in life that was particularly difficult or painful to endure. Now think about what you gained from that experience. Can you see or understand where God was working in your life even during this difficulty? Were you able to feel joy in your sadness? End Sidebar]

Bad things are going to happen. Good things are going to go away. Happiness can be within our grasp one day and miles away the next. Instead of panicking and racing around trying to replace what’s been lost, trying to find everlasting happiness, we need to find our everlasting joy.

Trust in His plan and His grace. There you will find joy. Joy when you feel like you could conquer the world and joy when you’re paralyzed by fear. Joy when your life is filled with happiness, joy when the laughter fades, and joy when the tears flow and you are sure the pain, hurt, and sadness will never end.

Ultimately, joy can’t be found like lost keys and ink pens. It’s a blessing that grows from a deep commitment and unwavering faith that God is good, all the time.

[Sidebar: Read Psalm 16:11 and John 15:10-11. The words of David from Psalm 16 have been considered as prophecy to the resurrection of Jesus. How do what David is saying in the Psalm, what Jesus said in John 15:10-11, and what you know about joy weave together? End Sidebar]

Prayer Focus:

Thank God for the fruit of joy and making it possible for you to experience joy in your life even when you are experiencing trials or sadness.
Pray specifically about the joy you do or do not feel you have in your life.
Ask Him to expand your joy in Him.